Loveessence's Lovely Lady: Delia0298

I sometimes hear men say that there are no good women left. This could not be farther from the truth in my opinion. This lovely lady is a dear friend. Not only is she incredibly beautiful on the outside, she has an amazing spirit. She is brilliant and generous and what I admire most about her is her devotion to forging her own path and living her own truth.  I am so thankful that she has allowed me to make her Loveessence's first Lovely Lady.
-Ms. Loveessence

About Delia0298


What is your passion in life? 
Learning, through every method—reading, traveling, listening, painting, trying new things, thinking, writing, engaging. For me, learning is the doorway to growing, loving and being.




What values or principles are most important to you and why?
TRUTH, the pursuit of it, honesty, authenticity; GENEROSITY, of spirit, with respect,  kindness and mindfulness; and GROWTH, in character, knowledge, craft. These are principles highly valued in my life. They help us to create meaningful and positive experiences and relationships.



What accomplishment are you most proud of?
Moving to New York City (with no job) and creating a life that is authentically me.



What are the most attractive qualities that you have to offer a mate?
Love, joy, fun, honesty, commitment, wisdom, generosity and passion.



Please describe the kind of love that you are seeking?
I am seeking an authentic love that is healthy and true, that lasts well beyond the ebbs and flows of life.


If you would like to learn more about Delia0298 please join Loveessence at http://loveessence.com/.
If you would like to be a Loveessence Lovely Lady then please contact Ms. Loveessence at ms.loveessence@loveessence.com.

What About Love?

What About Love?

One topic seems to be glaringly absent from the discourse about black women’s marriage prospects and that topic is love.

By: Ms. Loveessence

The discourse about the dearth of marriage prospects for black women seems never-ending.  “An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage”, “Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?”, “Black Women See Fewer Black Men at the Altar” and “Marriage Eludes High-Achieving Black Women” are just some of the headlines that have assaulted black women’s optimism in recent years. But there seems to be one obviously missing topic in the discussions that have ensued: love.  Where are the discussions about love in the black community? Where are the discussions about how black women should look for love or how black women should define love? 

Some black women’s empowerment blogs urge black women to date white men in particular and non-black men generally because of the lack of “good black men”.  These blogs cite black men’s high rates of incarceration, low rates of college education and black men’s culture of entitlement.  These arguments have gained new strength from academia in light of Professor Richard Bank’s book “Is Marriage for White People?" which discusses the bleak statistics with respect to black men. Further, the book posits that if more black women opened themselves to the possibility of marrying non-black men they might find themselves in better relationships while lessening the high black women to black men ratio that depresses African-American marriage rates.  Again, where is the in-depth discussion about how black women or how people generally search for and define love?

It is because of the lack of a genuine discussion about love that these “date interracially” arguments ring as hollow to me now as they did four years ago when I was single and searching for a husband.  As an individual black woman looking for a marriage partner I did not care about prison and educational statistics, nor did I care about sacrificing my own preferences for the sake African-American marriage rates.  I cared about fulfilling my personal dream of finding the love of my life.  Sadly, for many of my dating years I thought that I could find love by holding tightly to long lists about what I wanted in a spouse.  I thought about his height, his race, his skin-tone, his ethnicity, his religion, his profession, and his income.  Many of my girlfriends embarked on similar approaches.  We all laughed hysterically at the “Black Marriage Negotiations” video that went viral, because to a certain extent, we were staring at an animated version of our former selves. Back then, our long lists of what we wanted in men rivaled the lists of our fancy degrees and other accolades.

But most of us are married now and the journey that we took to love consisted of ripping up our lists and focusing on the kind, and quality of the love that we wanted in our lives.  I personally sought inspiration from greats like Iyanla Vanzant, Deepak Chopra, and  Wayne Dyer who challenged me to ask myself “what kind of love do I want?”.   Instead of obsessing over height, race, ethnicity, skin-tone, degrees, and salaries my friends and I began meditating on a kind of love that consisted of genuine friendship, passionate love-making, intelligent conversations, mutual support and or shared spirituality.  For some of us, this new journey led us to wonderful white, Asian, or other non-black men.  For most of us it led us to great black men (great black men are out there) who we had somehow overlooked when we had been focusing on checking off boxes. But for all of us, it led to an enriching marital and family life that we would not trade for the anything.

Our evolved approach enabled us to build marriages that are based on fulfilling love visions, and those love visions help us adapt to ever-changing gender roles.  

When our husbands think of the type of love that they want they think of the fact that we nurture and support them and not about the fact that we are not home at 5:00pm each day to make dinner and clean the house.  Additionally, we think of our husbands as the most important adults in our lives because of the emotional comfort that they give us and not because our husbands are the breadwinners.  A renewed focus on the kind of quality of love that we want is what is needed in this country, as evidenced by ever-climbing divorce rates. But it is especially needed in the black community due to the crisis with respect to black marriage and the drastic changes in gender roles among black men and women.  

Thankfully, I believe that this is already happening.  In Sophia Nelson’s book “Black Woman Redefined” Ms. Nelson candidly discusses what prevented her and her peers from “recognizing good men when they showed up” and lovingly challenges black women to redefine all aspects of their lives, including love.  I would encourage black women to re-focus on the quality of the love that they want and not the race, skin-tone, height, salary, and other demographic characteristics of potential mates.  Also, it would be great if the mainstream media would engage in similarly productive discussions about love in the black community instead of re-producing depressing articles that leave black women asking “what about love?”.  

Ms. Loveessence is the co-founder of loveessence.com, a romantic networking site for black women who are ready for love and all men who are ready to love them in return. She is a frequent contributor to loveandtheblackwoman.blogspot.com. She is also a wife and mother.

Loveessence Launches New Romantic Networking Website For Black Women And All Men

Contact: Loveessence                                                             FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Telephone: (614) LOV-EESN

Email: contact@loveessence.com

Loveessence Launches New Romantic Networking Website For Black Women And All Men

New Romantic Networking Website Addresses Issue of Romantic Relationship Prospects for Black Women with Launch on July 21, 2011

(New York, NY) July 21, 2011 – Loveessence, a new romantic networking website for black women and all men, officially launches today to facilitate relationships between black women who are ready for love and all men who are ready to love them in return. Unlike traditional dating sites, Loveessence.com promotes romantic networking based on core values and shared love visions while addressing the issue of relationship prospects for black women.

“Negative media coverage surrounding black women’s relationship and marriage prospects has been unrelenting. These portrayals are just hogwash. Loveessence is demonstrating that a wealth of relationship prospects exist for black women who are ready for love and the men ready to love them in return” ” says Queenette Karikari, Chief Marketing Officer of Loveessence.

A spate of recent academic studies, news articles, books and television specials have implied that highly-educated black women have relatively fewer dating and marriage options than their non-black counterparts. The founders of Loveessence believe that although the statistics on black women's marriage rates may be accurate, the pervasive idea that black women inherently have fewer marriage and dating options than other races of women is simply not true. The husband and wife team that founded Loveessence was inspired to create the site because, in spite of the media's insistence that there is a lack of "good" black men, the couple personally knew hoards of desirable  black men who were interested in loving relationships with black women.

Further, the co-founders consistently encountered non-black men who were interested in exploring relationships with black women. Loveessence provides an environment where black women can perceive men of all ethnicities as potential mates, expanding their pool of relationship options, and emphasizing the belief that core values and shared love visions trump demographic backgrounds. 

“I am excited to learn that Loveessence acknowledges that all men appreciate the inner and outer beauty of black women. Black, white, Asian, Middle-Eastern, and Latin American men of all different socio-economic classes repeatedly ask me for advice about meeting and dating black women. I advise all black women to stop fishing in duck ponds and instead open themselves to an ocean of eligible bachelors. When it comes to finding a mate, choose character above color” says Christelyn Russell-Karazin, founder of the popular Beyond Black & White blog and author of the upcoming book, Swirling: How to Date, Mate & Relate Mixing Race Culture & Creed.

Loveessence’s proprietary matching system connects people based on core values and beliefs, encouraging its members to focus on one salient question: what is the type of love that you want? Once a member has answered this fundamental question, Loveessence aims to provide him or her with a network of people of the opposite sex who may be able to provide that kind of love.  

“The real question when it comes to romantic relationships is ‘what type of love do you want?’ This love may consist of mutual admiration, sexual ecstasy, emotional intimacy, or may be driven by a shared faith or mutual understanding. Loveessence is designed to offer its members a network of relationship options based on this fundamental and revealing question,” explains Queenette Karikari.

Potential members of Loveessence simply have go to loveessence.com and click on the “Join Now” link to fill out a brief questionnaire. After completing the questionnaire and activating their accounts through their email addresses, new members will be able to receive match suggestions, review member profiles, and send email and instant messages to other members for free. No credit card information is required.

For more information, go to loveessence.com.