Loveessence's Distinguished Gentleman: Brian Intern

I know this young man personally and he is a really funny, creative, ambitious and kind man.  He is incredibly genuine and does not hesitate to to help a friend or family member in need.  Ladies, don't miss out.


-Ms. Loveessence

What is your passion in life?

I would have to say trying to find new literature that will knock my socks off, making me step back and go “Whoa!” It’s tough these days to find something in print like that—especially writers who take the time to write such beautiful sentences.

What values and principles are most important to you and why?

Something as simple as honesty can go a long way. Real people, like legitimately honest, caring, people do not stand out us much as those who front. The ones who speak the truth very rarely have their voice heard above the crowd.  

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

Being the first one in my family to come out with a college degree. My parents, aunts/uncles, never had the opportunities like I did in order to succeed academically post-high school. I’m proud of the experiences, socially and academically, 

What are the most attractive qualities that you have to offer a mate?

I can offer a good ear and a good shoulder to lean on. You need to be able to listen to your mate, REALLY LISTEN. If you’re able to do that, then there is going to be a lot of understanding between the two of you.

Please, describe the love that you are seeking?

I want a kind of love that can ignite my passions. It’s been a while since I have found someone who can inspire that side of me. I want that fire to burn through me. It doesn’t have to last forever, even if we just show each other that there ARE good men and women out there that’s what matters—a love that’s inspired.

If you would like to learn more about Sevenpictures please join Loveessence  at http://loveessence.com/. If you would like to be a Loveessence Distinguished Gentleman then please contact  Ms. Loveessence at ms.loveessence@loveessence.com

Loveessence's Inpirational Couple: D & K

I know this couple personally. They attended my wedding and continue to support me and my husband through our marriage.  They are absolutely a pleasure to be around and they demonstrate that love can be found at any age and through various vehicles as they met online at mature ages.  

How long have you two known each other and when did you two know that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together?

D&K: We first came in contact on an online dating service.  After corresponding a couple of times via e*mail, we met off-line at a coffee shop.  There we felt an immediately connection which began the thought that we wanted to be together.  We met in December and my husband proposed to me in February, on Valentine’s Day.  Our wedding was that July before most of our families and close friends.  We remain happy as we look forward to our eighth anniversary. 


What do you love most about your husband?

D: He is very generous, kind, intelligent, and loving.  I would not trade him for the world.

What do you love most about your wife?

K: She's the best thing that ever happened to me.  My wife is my world.

How do you maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship?

D&K: We are very compatible, we understand each other and we hardly get into fights.  

What advice do you two have for singles who are searching for that special someone?

D: Every woman deserves to be happy.  If she wants a healthy relationship she should not lock herself into a racial box.  Staying in a comfort zone in not helpful, instead she needs to cast a wider net.  Approximately 70% of Black women are single yet they have the greatest resistance to marrying out of their race/culture and sometimes settle for un-committed relationships with men who do not share their intellectual, emotional or social outlooks.  If they want romance which leads to happiness and marriage, why not be open to  men of any race or culture that share their goals and interests?  Choose a man that understands your routine, one that complements you, inspires you, respects you, ignites your flame and can earn the place as king in your world.  That can only be a man at least on your level.    

Eliminate men who do not share your intellect, emotional maturity, open-mindedness, interest in travel, respect for the law, commitment to sexual monogamy, devotion to a healthy lifestyle and or morality.


If you would like to be one of Loveessence's inspirational couples please email Ms. Loveessence at ms.loveessence@loveessence.com.

Loveessence's Lovely Lady: Sevenpictures

There are some women who seem to have it all and this lovely lady is one of them.  Sevenpictures is easy on the eyes, intelligent, entrepreneurial, spiritual and incredibly fun to be around.  She is single and fabulous as she continues to reinvent herself as an academic, creative artist, writer and entrepreneur.  I love her as a role-model and sister-friend and I know that you will come to love her too.

Ms. Loveessence

What is your passion in life? 
I am passionate about many things, but two that stand out are: laughter and helping people make their dreams come true. I love to laugh, and to make other people laugh – over the years I have spent time on the stage as an improviser, comedic actor, and stand-up comedian.  I believe that laughter is God’s greatest gift to us. Laughter is truth, and the one thing that I understand without question. The times I have spent laughing, by myself or with others, are my favorite times in my life. If you tell me “You’re funny,” you are giving me the highest compliment that I can think of. The times that I have stepped on a stage to share laughter with others, are my most courageous and memorable times in my life.

I also enjoy helping others and love to do what I can to support other people’s passions and help others make their dreams come true.

What values or principles are most important to you and why?
Family is very important to me, both the family in which I was born, and the family that I have chosen- my friends. I have family all over the world, and it is important to me to stay in contact with as much of my large, extended family as I can. 

Aside from family and friendship, I would say that I also value honesty and trustworthiness. I want to be able to trust my partner and know that we are being truthful with each other. I am also inspired by intellect, passion, and surround myself with people who can teach me something and continually challenge me.

What accomplishment are you most proud of?
I have been blessed by a certain level of achievement personally, educationally, and professionally. For this I am grateful. Some of my most valued accomplishments include graduating from two of America’s best universities, running 3 marathons, performing as an actor-comedian, and becoming a small business owner and real estate investor. I have lived in several countries and travelled around the world, often solo, and these are experiences that I prize. Some may think that these accomplishments are what matter most to me, but that is not true. Although I do think it is important for me to do something worthwhile with the opportunities that I have been given, that is mainly because I believe that to whom much is given, much is expected, not because I value material things or professional success over family, friends and relationships. I would love nothing more than to find someone to share this life with, enjoy experiences, and build something wonderful together.

What are the most attractive qualities that you have to offer a mate?
Intelligence + sex appeal + a big heart = me.

Please describe the kind of love that you are seeking?
I desire the kind of love that comes when two people really like each other and enjoy each other’s company. I seek the kind of love where there is trust and kindness present. I would love to be in a relationship where each of us knows what makes the other person happy, and is committed to making sure that those happy-making things exist in each other’s lives. 

If you would like to learn more about Sevenpictures please join Loveessence  at http://loveessence.com/. If you would like to be a Loveessence Lovely Lady then please contact  Ms. Loveessence at ms.loveessence@loveessence.com.

Loveessence's Inspirational Couple: O & A

This couple really shows us to focus on the love we want rather than the demographic characteristics of the person that we think we want.  The two of them are from different racial, ethnic, and religious backgrounds  and decided that they were the only people for each other, despite societal pressures on each of them to date and marry someone from their respective communities.   The wife, who is a personal friend, is one of the warmest and friendliest people that I have ever known. She is pure sunshine and I'm so happy that she has found the love of her life and that she was recently blessed with a bundle of joy.  Single ladies, love is out there.

How long have you two known each other and when did you two know that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together?

O&A: We met as sophomores in college (1999) when we lived in the same dorm.  We started dating in March 2000.  We knew we would be together forever in March 2007, and we were formally engaged in October 2008.

What do you love most about your husband?

O: I love the fact that I can tell him anything and that I can talk to him about absolutely anything.  He helps me work through and think through any situation that's important to me.

What do you love most about your wife?

A: She understands me at a fundamental level, so I can be completely honest with her.

How do you two maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship?

O&A: We had a long-distance relationship for 8 years before we got married, and that taught us how to talk to each other because most of the time that's all we had.  Now our communication is excellent and we can talk openly about everything, including our relationship.  Neither of us holds grudges.  If something annoys us, we tell the other to get it off our chests, and move on.  The old saying, "Never go to sleep mad at each other," works well for us.  Even though we have been together for 10 years, we constantly remind each other how lucky we feel to have the other in our lives.

What advice do you two have for singles who are searching for that special someone?

O&A: We learned from experience that the person who seems best suited to you on paper is not necessarily going to be The One.  Explore and enjoy people who are different because it's your shared fundamental outlook on life that will tie you to your spouse, not your taste in music or your hobbies.

If you would like to be one of Loveessence's inspirational couples please email Ms. Loveessence at ms.loveessence@loveessence.com.

Loveessence's Distinguished Gentleman: Lilo

There are phenomenal single men of all races out there. Do not believe the hype.  This week's distinguished gentleman is a really great guy whom I know personally.  He is incredibly brilliant, interesting, hard-working and creative.  What I admire most about him is that he consistently exhibits determination to achieve his goals, no matter how unlikely those goals may seem.
- Ms. Loveessence

What is your passion in life? 
Honesty, Hardwork and determination. Because hardwork coupled with determination makes nothing impossible. 

What values or principles are most important to you and why? Honesty, Hardwork and determination. Because hardwork coupled with determination makes nothing impossible.

What accomplishment are you most proud of? 
Fund-raising my way through college. It's one thing to raise money for a semester in college and another experience to do it for 4 years because you are determined to get an Ivy League degree.

What are the most attractive qualities that you have to offer a mate? 
Open-mindedness, friendship, the promise to be there, as the one who's got your back, loyal supporter and constructive critic.

Please describe the kind of love that you are seeking? 
Love built on the foundation of truth, sincerity, passion and ambition. Where two secure individuals look to strengthen each other in the pursuit of their dreams while making room for the celebration of the wonderful things about their lives and finding  happiness.

If you would like to meet Lilo, please go to http://www.loveessence.com/ where love lives.  If you would like to be Loveessence's Lovely Lady or Disinguished Gentleman please email ms.loveessence@loveessence.com.

Loveessence's Inspirational Couple: KC & SC

This couple is near and dear to my heart because they embody teamwork.  KC (husband) and SC (wife) work together in building a business that is creating a legacy for their family and our community. They work together in raising beautiful children.  They are truly living their dreams and pursuing their passion while supporting and loving each other.  SC is the picture of the fulfilled black woman.  She is a brilliant, beautiful and happily-married mom-preneur who inspires us to live our best lives.

  

How long have you two known each other and when did you two know that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together?

KC & SC: We’ve known each other since 2002 (nine years)

SC: I knew he was the one when he cooked thanksgiving dinner for a group of 20 people in 2002.

KC: in 2005 right before we we got married.

What do you love most about your husband? 

SC: His strength, strong personality, and proud acceptance in his role of protector and provider.

What do you love most about your wife? 

KC: She’s very emotional and sensorial, which is the opposite of me.

How do you two maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship?

KC & SC: Have fun, be friends first and stay friends, respect one another and pray together,

What advice do you two have for singles who are searching for that special someone? 

KC & SC: Be yourself and swim where the fish are. Meaning if you’re looking for love and to have it be a quality relationship, then surround yourself with environments you believe are quality (e.g. Professional conferences, gatherings at friends' houses, etc.) where you’ll be most apt to find those people.


Please share this post.  We get so much negative information it would be great to share something inspirational.  If you and your spouse would like to be interviewed as an inspirational couple please contact ms.loveessence@loveessence.com.

Can a black woman and a black man get to love's essence?

Loveessence's Lovely Lady: Delia0298

I sometimes hear men say that there are no good women left. This could not be farther from the truth in my opinion. This lovely lady is a dear friend. Not only is she incredibly beautiful on the outside, she has an amazing spirit. She is brilliant and generous and what I admire most about her is her devotion to forging her own path and living her own truth.  I am so thankful that she has allowed me to make her Loveessence's first Lovely Lady.
-Ms. Loveessence

About Delia0298


What is your passion in life? 
Learning, through every method—reading, traveling, listening, painting, trying new things, thinking, writing, engaging. For me, learning is the doorway to growing, loving and being.




What values or principles are most important to you and why?
TRUTH, the pursuit of it, honesty, authenticity; GENEROSITY, of spirit, with respect,  kindness and mindfulness; and GROWTH, in character, knowledge, craft. These are principles highly valued in my life. They help us to create meaningful and positive experiences and relationships.



What accomplishment are you most proud of?
Moving to New York City (with no job) and creating a life that is authentically me.



What are the most attractive qualities that you have to offer a mate?
Love, joy, fun, honesty, commitment, wisdom, generosity and passion.



Please describe the kind of love that you are seeking?
I am seeking an authentic love that is healthy and true, that lasts well beyond the ebbs and flows of life.


If you would like to learn more about Delia0298 please join Loveessence at http://loveessence.com/.
If you would like to be a Loveessence Lovely Lady then please contact Ms. Loveessence at ms.loveessence@loveessence.com.

What About Love?

What About Love?

One topic seems to be glaringly absent from the discourse about black women’s marriage prospects and that topic is love.

By: Ms. Loveessence

The discourse about the dearth of marriage prospects for black women seems never-ending.  “An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage”, “Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?”, “Black Women See Fewer Black Men at the Altar” and “Marriage Eludes High-Achieving Black Women” are just some of the headlines that have assaulted black women’s optimism in recent years. But there seems to be one obviously missing topic in the discussions that have ensued: love.  Where are the discussions about love in the black community? Where are the discussions about how black women should look for love or how black women should define love? 

Some black women’s empowerment blogs urge black women to date white men in particular and non-black men generally because of the lack of “good black men”.  These blogs cite black men’s high rates of incarceration, low rates of college education and black men’s culture of entitlement.  These arguments have gained new strength from academia in light of Professor Richard Bank’s book “Is Marriage for White People?" which discusses the bleak statistics with respect to black men. Further, the book posits that if more black women opened themselves to the possibility of marrying non-black men they might find themselves in better relationships while lessening the high black women to black men ratio that depresses African-American marriage rates.  Again, where is the in-depth discussion about how black women or how people generally search for and define love?

It is because of the lack of a genuine discussion about love that these “date interracially” arguments ring as hollow to me now as they did four years ago when I was single and searching for a husband.  As an individual black woman looking for a marriage partner I did not care about prison and educational statistics, nor did I care about sacrificing my own preferences for the sake African-American marriage rates.  I cared about fulfilling my personal dream of finding the love of my life.  Sadly, for many of my dating years I thought that I could find love by holding tightly to long lists about what I wanted in a spouse.  I thought about his height, his race, his skin-tone, his ethnicity, his religion, his profession, and his income.  Many of my girlfriends embarked on similar approaches.  We all laughed hysterically at the “Black Marriage Negotiations” video that went viral, because to a certain extent, we were staring at an animated version of our former selves. Back then, our long lists of what we wanted in men rivaled the lists of our fancy degrees and other accolades.

But most of us are married now and the journey that we took to love consisted of ripping up our lists and focusing on the kind, and quality of the love that we wanted in our lives.  I personally sought inspiration from greats like Iyanla Vanzant, Deepak Chopra, and  Wayne Dyer who challenged me to ask myself “what kind of love do I want?”.   Instead of obsessing over height, race, ethnicity, skin-tone, degrees, and salaries my friends and I began meditating on a kind of love that consisted of genuine friendship, passionate love-making, intelligent conversations, mutual support and or shared spirituality.  For some of us, this new journey led us to wonderful white, Asian, or other non-black men.  For most of us it led us to great black men (great black men are out there) who we had somehow overlooked when we had been focusing on checking off boxes. But for all of us, it led to an enriching marital and family life that we would not trade for the anything.

Our evolved approach enabled us to build marriages that are based on fulfilling love visions, and those love visions help us adapt to ever-changing gender roles.  

When our husbands think of the type of love that they want they think of the fact that we nurture and support them and not about the fact that we are not home at 5:00pm each day to make dinner and clean the house.  Additionally, we think of our husbands as the most important adults in our lives because of the emotional comfort that they give us and not because our husbands are the breadwinners.  A renewed focus on the kind of quality of love that we want is what is needed in this country, as evidenced by ever-climbing divorce rates. But it is especially needed in the black community due to the crisis with respect to black marriage and the drastic changes in gender roles among black men and women.  

Thankfully, I believe that this is already happening.  In Sophia Nelson’s book “Black Woman Redefined” Ms. Nelson candidly discusses what prevented her and her peers from “recognizing good men when they showed up” and lovingly challenges black women to redefine all aspects of their lives, including love.  I would encourage black women to re-focus on the quality of the love that they want and not the race, skin-tone, height, salary, and other demographic characteristics of potential mates.  Also, it would be great if the mainstream media would engage in similarly productive discussions about love in the black community instead of re-producing depressing articles that leave black women asking “what about love?”.  

Ms. Loveessence is the co-founder of loveessence.com, a romantic networking site for black women who are ready for love and all men who are ready to love them in return. She is a frequent contributor to loveandtheblackwoman.blogspot.com. She is also a wife and mother.

Loveessence Launches New Romantic Networking Website For Black Women And All Men

Contact: Loveessence                                                             FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Telephone: (614) LOV-EESN

Email: contact@loveessence.com

Loveessence Launches New Romantic Networking Website For Black Women And All Men

New Romantic Networking Website Addresses Issue of Romantic Relationship Prospects for Black Women with Launch on July 21, 2011

(New York, NY) July 21, 2011 – Loveessence, a new romantic networking website for black women and all men, officially launches today to facilitate relationships between black women who are ready for love and all men who are ready to love them in return. Unlike traditional dating sites, Loveessence.com promotes romantic networking based on core values and shared love visions while addressing the issue of relationship prospects for black women.

“Negative media coverage surrounding black women’s relationship and marriage prospects has been unrelenting. These portrayals are just hogwash. Loveessence is demonstrating that a wealth of relationship prospects exist for black women who are ready for love and the men ready to love them in return” ” says Queenette Karikari, Chief Marketing Officer of Loveessence.

A spate of recent academic studies, news articles, books and television specials have implied that highly-educated black women have relatively fewer dating and marriage options than their non-black counterparts. The founders of Loveessence believe that although the statistics on black women's marriage rates may be accurate, the pervasive idea that black women inherently have fewer marriage and dating options than other races of women is simply not true. The husband and wife team that founded Loveessence was inspired to create the site because, in spite of the media's insistence that there is a lack of "good" black men, the couple personally knew hoards of desirable  black men who were interested in loving relationships with black women.

Further, the co-founders consistently encountered non-black men who were interested in exploring relationships with black women. Loveessence provides an environment where black women can perceive men of all ethnicities as potential mates, expanding their pool of relationship options, and emphasizing the belief that core values and shared love visions trump demographic backgrounds. 

“I am excited to learn that Loveessence acknowledges that all men appreciate the inner and outer beauty of black women. Black, white, Asian, Middle-Eastern, and Latin American men of all different socio-economic classes repeatedly ask me for advice about meeting and dating black women. I advise all black women to stop fishing in duck ponds and instead open themselves to an ocean of eligible bachelors. When it comes to finding a mate, choose character above color” says Christelyn Russell-Karazin, founder of the popular Beyond Black & White blog and author of the upcoming book, Swirling: How to Date, Mate & Relate Mixing Race Culture & Creed.

Loveessence’s proprietary matching system connects people based on core values and beliefs, encouraging its members to focus on one salient question: what is the type of love that you want? Once a member has answered this fundamental question, Loveessence aims to provide him or her with a network of people of the opposite sex who may be able to provide that kind of love.  

“The real question when it comes to romantic relationships is ‘what type of love do you want?’ This love may consist of mutual admiration, sexual ecstasy, emotional intimacy, or may be driven by a shared faith or mutual understanding. Loveessence is designed to offer its members a network of relationship options based on this fundamental and revealing question,” explains Queenette Karikari.

Potential members of Loveessence simply have go to loveessence.com and click on the “Join Now” link to fill out a brief questionnaire. After completing the questionnaire and activating their accounts through their email addresses, new members will be able to receive match suggestions, review member profiles, and send email and instant messages to other members for free. No credit card information is required.

For more information, go to loveessence.com.